Life is like a slow-motion pendulum that keeps going left and right. I usually hate the right side because everything goes bad for me there and when things start getting bad, I know that the pendulum is at its right peak. Everybody around us has a bad day but continuously having bad days is my duty. Since a month my life has been stuck at the right peak of the pendulum. How do I know that??? Let me tell you in today’s post, shall I?
Hello and welcome to my blog: @Magical BookLush.
This is a babble after finishing my preliminary Exams. I couldn’t stop babbling today. I am exhausted and angry at some point. I decided to avoid WordPress until 19th March but that’s going to be hard IF SOME PEOPLE DONT STOP TORTURING ME!!!!! Who are they?? What going on?? You wanna know?? Allow me to take you on a bad luck ride of my life.
Tired, I can’t say any other words except these, ’cause they are true. Yesterday evening was a shocking one. I opened my Instagram account to find my bestie’s chat gone. I gave a great look around and found out that I am blocked, that was through Google. I was so sad, I literally cried. Not cause I was blocked or something but because I missed her. We had some great times together and when I look back now, I felt kinda betrayed. I messaged her through another app and she told me that she had deleted her account and also that I am good at accusing.
Tell me what am I accusing her off?? She suddenly left insta without telling me why. She didn’t tell me what’s wrong, she knows I am a message away. I always keep my net on in case she needs me. I always wanna be there for her but I guess she doesn’t want that. She has been avoiding me since morning after when she messaged me for the last time. I don’t care if I am humiliating myself by writing this post that’s totally and wholly dedicated to her because I just wanna say some stuff.
The things I wanna tell her;
I miss you!!!
It’s crazy for me to say this after you thinking that I am accusing you but hey!!! You left no notice before leaving me. I messaged you on Goodreads, left a message on the *app* that we use together. It’s not cuz I wanted to abuse you or accuse you but I just wanted to make sure you are okay because of everything that happened that afternoon. I know it doesn’t matter for you what I want to tell you or do but I wanted you on Instagram so that I could have a real friend for once and after all that we have been through together where we have shared our secrets, our laughs, our sadness, I just wanna tell you this:
Wese to main banti badi top hu but tere dur jaane ke baad without hope hun.
F*** that tujhe maaru daatu tujhe tokun chahein kuch bhi karke, tujhe roku, lage jese roo dun.
Jitna possible hai bro main kar rahi hoon.
Choti choti baaton pe kyun bigad rahi hoon.
Fisul ke kharchon ko low kar rahi hoon.
Signal ki speed ko main low kar rahi.
To babe chodh anxiety problem.
Kyun nikal rahi hai Tu insta se??
Yeh sach hai ki hum to mile luck se but it’s love now bolungi yeh main haq seFor that person who knows herself.
I won’t be translating this because it takes time and it’s kind of me n my besties private song. Before you end up avoiding me everywhere, I want to tell you I am always there for you and you made me right a blog just before my test tomorrow morning. I miss you, fluffy.
Exams are going ok. My life is a living nightmare where I study until 4 AM and wake up at 8 am. So yeah I have dark circles, the sleepless night that I hope will pay off. This blog was mostly to talk to someone special. I hope things get better.
I am trying to make ends meet and handle my relationships as well as health that’s not good since yesterday.
That’s it for today. Hope you guys are ok, I miss you all. Do take care, I will be back soon.
Follow my blog for more updates:
Good luck and take care.