A LETTER IN A BOOK. ||REWIND, PAUSE, PAIN.

People always say life goes on. Nothing stops it but the truth is memories rewind and pauses themselves. It pauses in such a way that pain bursts through your heart like somebody stabbed you or even worse broke your heart that was made of thin glass by stepping on it a thousand times. People leave, time goes, days fly, months pass, years make you old and mature but a small trunk in an attic with all the memories hurt you so much that you cry. The same happened to me. Allow me to tell you about my memory.

Hello and welcome to my blog: Magical BookLush.

This post’s title was written on 7th September but I didn’t have the guts to write ahead. Today I felt like speaking out.

Friendship is one of the most beautiful things on earth. A friend will always be there for you. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t stop myself from writing this post.

I am an Indian by birth. I went to Africa when I was 2 years old. I stayed in Africa all my life, half of it in Uganda and the other in Rwanda. Once every 5 years I would come to India to visit my family for a month. I used to miss India so much. “India is my home, ” that’s what I used to say. Before a year, I shifted to India. Super excited, all pumped up, happy to be ‘home’.

On 6th September, I was setting up my bookshelf and I got all my books out of my bag, ready to set up and I found a novel named Capitol Murders it had a sticker on it. It was my favourite sticker of a Nickelodeon show, Icarly.

PAUSE!!

Only Indian in a small town near the Rwanda-Congo border. A place where I faced racism, discrimination, body-shaming, got beaten up, abused, humiliated and a lot more things that are not to be mentioned. (This memory took place before 2 years. I completed my high school and shifted to India.)

PLAY!!

The only friend I had was a girl named Ingabire Madio Victoria. She and I loved Nickelodeon series. BTR, ICARLY, SAM AND CAT. Those were some series!! She had bought the sticker of Icarly from a vendor and she gave one of it to me.

The smell of books!!!!!! The most enchanting thing in the world. I flipped the pages for the beautiful fragrance and I found a nice clean piece of rim paper. I put the book down and picked up the paper, opened it and…

PAUSE!!

It’s better than any gift on earth.

I was in my second year of high school. It was an end of year exam. She was in the third and last year of high school. That’s when she wrote this note for me. I was a silent and scared girl. I needed someone, she was there for me. After exams, she gave me the note and we parted ways, never to meet again.

PLAY!!

However hard you try to stop thinking, it will always come back to hurt you more because you didn’t enjoy your time when you could and should have.

With tears in my eyes, a poem on my lips and a broken heart, I hugged the note and reminded myself each and every moment of my life that I had spent in Africa.

A letter in a book,
From a friend so far.

A letter in a book,
Just touches your heart.

A letter in a book,
Revives memories of past.

A letter in a book,
reminds you moments forgotten long past.

A letter in a book,
Takes you to the home,
Lost in your heart.

A letter in a book by Suzan Khoja.

At that moment, I understood that when I was in Africa, I actually was already home.

The pain, the dilemma, the hurt I felt,
a thousand times more,
than the injections pained.
A tear,
a word,
those memories lost,
when brought back,
home was missed,
once more.

Lost Home by Suzan Khoja. Sorry if these poems are not perfect.

Even if I went through a lot of problems there, it was my home. I never understood that because I was too dumb and scared. I missed a home I hadn’t lived in for more than a month in so many years. A home that was not actually mine.

My home was my Africa, my Life has and will always be my home. But I realised that too late. A year later, I didn’t have the courage, to tell the truth to myself because it always hurts.

Time passes and waits for no one. Cherish your moments ’cause you might never have one.

Victoria, if you ever read this. I miss you. Thank you for making me realise, sooner or later, that home is always where you live no matter how hard your life is.

Thank you for wasting your time over this useless post that is just me blabbering shit about my life. You are free to copy my poems but don’t forget to add my name. I didn’t copy from anyone. These are my own poems.

The poems written in quotes are my own. These pictures were taken from Pinterest.

If you like my post, like it, share it and follow my blog for more weird posts. Comment and tell me how you felt about this post. If you are away from home and want to talk, I am here to help.

Easy way to my other posts, https://magicalbooklush.blog.

Thank you for your valuable time.

19 thoughts on “A LETTER IN A BOOK. ||REWIND, PAUSE, PAIN.

  1. That is a wonderful tribute to your friend, and an insight into some painful memories from your past.
    I have found that writing down such things can release burdens from inside, and allow us to get on with the new challenges that face us.
    Lovely post, Suzan. 🙂
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Pete. Life is always a step ahead of us. When we crave to reach for it, we miss out on the most beautiful moments. Just like I did. Btw how were my poems?? You never tell me about the best part. Tell me what did you like the best?? Thank you for being a great friend. This tribute is also to you and Kim and all my other friends out there in WordPress. 🙂✌💞

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You poems are fine, Suzan. Poetry is personal, and if it means something to the writer, then that is all that counts.
        The best part?
        For me, the best part was how you described finding the letter from your friend in the book. I could sense your emotion.
        Best wishes, Pete.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you, Pete. I am not a poetic person but sometimes when I am extremely sad. I get the poetry out. That second poem lost home was written just like that on the post. I didn’t think much just wrote my heart out. I still feel like crying. I miss Africa so much. Thank you for understanding my emotions. Words spoken from the heart always touch other hearts. I didn’t think. I just felt. Btw someone is enjoying my blogs… I am so happy you love my blogs. I hope to entertain you more. 🙂✌

          Liked by 1 person

  2. An interesting and moving story which highlights a key concept all humans and animals have the idea of home.
    We attach ourselves to people and places but the bonds of attachment take time. How often young children are far more attached to their foster parents and many are heartbroken when there blood parents take them away.
    It puzzled me when people took their annual holidays at the same place year after year until I realised they felt at home in that place although they were there for a break.
    When children become young adults they know they must fly the nest and to break away is such wrenching agony.
    Mothers must loosen the apron strings and let those they have loved and nursed stand in the world on their own feet.
    Perhaps hardest of all is when the time comes for us to leave this world and all we cherish in it.
    These days families often separate completely some going off to different countries to live a new life.
    I’m 77 and declining slowly but I leave a family of 4 children three boys and a girl . My children are in the fast lane and we are in a quiet backwater , retired within a stone’s throw of the sea.We are fortunate in the fact that all our children are within 100 miles but we do not see them too often they have their own busy lives to lead.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are true about what you say, sometimes it’s just hard for children to stay with parents but when they have to leave, they are forced to look ahead. They have their future, responsibilities, family’s and a lot more to handle and in this life, they forget their home and their memories. Bonds take years to make but seconds to break and just a hectic day to forget. In today’s life, parents can’t tie up their children to stay with them. Mothers have to do what they need for their child’s betterment. Children are stuck in a dilemma where they have to see their future and parents. You are lucky your children will be around if you have a problem. In today’s life, no one has time for anyone

      My only regret is that I was caught up in this too. Never got time for my grandfather and last year he passed away. He was 4 years younger than you. I wish I had spent time with him instead of shopping when I came to India.😞😔
      Thank you for sharing your experience with me. How did you think my poetry was? Tell me your opinion.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What a beautiful tribute to the power of friendship Suzan!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Kim. It’s a tribute to new friends too. Including you. Btw how was my poetry?? I know I ain’t no Shakespeare but still. And what part did you like the most in my post??

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you and your favourite part?? What did you enjoy?? I am actually taking a survey and you and Pete are my biggest critics.

          Liked by 1 person

            1. Aww, that’s awesome. I am really glad you liked my post. Is there anything you want me to change about my blog or me??

              Liked by 1 person

                1. What does “absolutely not!” Mean?

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. I love your blog and I wouldn’t suggest changing a thing about it…or you!

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. Thank you. Just seeing if people are pissed off me or not. 🙂✌😜

                      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lovely poems written from the heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Stevie, it means a lot to me. 🙂✌

      Liked by 1 person

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No Whining. No Excuses. Just Do It.

A Book. A Thought.

A Room Without Books is Like a Body Without a Soul

Source of Inspiration

All is One, co-creating with the Creator

Penny Wilson Writes

A Bit of Me in Every Key Stroke

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